Will The Real Jason Statham Stand Up Please



There’s a voice in all of us, and you can only get expressive through words. There’s a limit to what you can do without speaking.

Jason Statham

Well there’s a funny story about that but let’s start at the beginning. I’m a movie fan. But to me it’s more than moving pictures on a big wall. I’ll save my passionate pontifications for another post but in order for me expand on the title of this post it’s important to understand this love affair of mine. Films make me laugh. They make me smile. They inspire me and plumb the depths of my soul. Sometimes they are just fun and escapism. In ramblings gone by I’ve touched upon in my love of all things British. Mr. Statham is British so in my book a good start. Not only that but the story of his foray in to the movie world is a bizarre one and who doesn’t like something a little left field. Biographies are a glimpse into the lives of well-known people. Some are written in partnership with the subject some are not. A skilful author will cleverly conjure up tantalising appeal to the audience and, regardless of the sordid details that may lurk within such an exposing tome, will cunningly generate sympathy for the subject. If it has been written true artistry the reader will feel as if they have been personally invited in to the subjects private world. I have read Mr. Statham’s biography. To be honest I can’t remember whether it was in partnership with the man himself or not but what I do know is it told us nothing. This is not to take anything away from the author. More a tipping of the hat to the subject. It seems that Britain’s most successful modern action star has succeeded where so many of his number, both past and present, have failed. He has managed to keep his private life private. Very little is actually known about him the person or his family. He apparently has a circle of friends that have remained fiercely loyal to him and have helped keep the world of movie fanatics far from his private life. Again this is not a selfish act. He gives interviews both live and written. He greets his fans enthusiastically at premiers and is always humble, respectful and polite. We should expect no more.

Not all his films are well received by the critics. However we, the movie consuming public, have to ask ourselves, who the hell are these critics? At what point in life did they become so qualified in the craft of acting or the creation of films? What elevated them to such heights that they could cast judgments and dispense scorn? These are the Remora fish of Hollywood. They feed off of the sweat of the industry’s success and failure. Their bitterness is worn as sandwich board for all to see. They belittle months, sometimes years of work by reducing it all to a few paragraphs of bitterness based on nothing other than their own myopia.

Of his films?  I have seen most of Mr. Statham’s films and consider him equal among his contemporaries. I think he truly excelled himself in Revolver. A clever twisting turning gangster movie based on the tactics of chess and culminates in an ending with more than one possible meaning. A true classic which allowed him to explore the depths of his new found acting abilities and subsequently challenged him to expand his repertoire.

Generally speaking things in this world are finite. Visual things are finite. One car may look different from another car but we all have a generic blueprint of a car filed away in our head and from this blueprint we can ascertain what a car is when we see one. People also conform to a stereotype. We know that a person will be male or female; despite the people who think they’re neither. However with the combinations of noses, mouths, height, weight etc we are presented with billions of combinations. Human beings, unlike cars, in most cases have a desire and ability to look different from each other and this can be achieved by something as simple as having a haircut. From my experience this tends to work. My day-to-day work engages me with hundreds of different people and I seldom ever mistake one person for another. This notwithstanding, some people do look similar to others. The ‘look a like’, as an industry, was built based on this very premise. Accentuate this with little custom work and there is a real possibility to earn some proper cash. I have worked with the public for many years. Apparently, according to independent opinions, I bare similarities to Mr. Statham. I have had all manner of comments as I carry out my daily duties ranging from ‘Look! It’s the Transporter’ all the way up to ‘Did you know you look like Jason Statham?’ I usually rebuff these with a ‘Nah he’s bigger built than I am’ or a ‘I think if I was my kids would have mentioned it’ as these days celebrity is everything to teenagers. In essence though I do have a similar haircut and similar facial hair and returning to our blueprints and stereotypes maybe there are similarities. In fact seeing as our ages our similar but we are not really sure of his actual DOB maybe it’s not a case of ‘ do I look like him’ but more a case of ‘doesn’t he look a bit like me?’……. But despite my pedantry there really is only one real Mr. Statham. He British, he’s cool but alas he is not me.

P.S I’m no slouch and if, Mr. Statham, you should by the rarest of chances ever happen upon this post and fancy getting a proper work out you’ll find me on Hayling Island and the challenge is badminton. Singles.


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